In Uncategorized on June 29, 2010 at 4:54 pm
top five: things i don’t want to be stuck in a small room with (or, the deleted scenes from Jessica Jane’s Fear Factor)
- Goat Cheese
- Glenn Beck
- A recording of that song, “Give a Little Bit”, as covered by the Goo Goo Dolls
- Glenn Beck singing “Give a Little Bit” while eating Goat Cheese stuffed Cockroaches.
"Give a Little Bit...Give a Little Bit of my Love to You."
In Uncategorized on June 29, 2010 at 3:27 am
top five: Reality Shows I Would Quit Work to Watch…All. Day. Long. (or What I Would Do With My Time, Should I Ever Evolve into a Late Career Jim Morrison)
- Pretty Wild. It got sexy, barely legal, privileged and entitled Hollywood sisters who run around naked, robbing Marc Jacobs purses from young celebrities. I shall be so lucky if I get a chance to birth daughters half as cool.
- Intervention. It’s totally f-ed up. And makes me feel guilty to watch while drinking a beer.
- Tough Love. (Not the “Couples” version), this show actually gave great advice on dating, and really confirmed my high self esteem.
- Surreal Life. Remember the one with “China Doll”? I’ve got a real warm heart for G-list celebrities given a second chance.
- Breaking Bonaduce. I used to watch this child-star clusterf**k classic all the time. What a fantastic example of co-dependence.
Redheads are capricious and full of drama. Just ask any given ex-boyfriend of mine.
In Uncategorized on June 28, 2010 at 4:22 am
Top Five: Ways to Make a Post-Vacation Sunday evening “Blues-Free”
- Make a to-do list of all the things you want to get done before you go back to work. And then do ‘none of them.
- Find some old, frozen, freezer-burned faux chicken patties, eat them for dinner. Then ordering Pad Thai for a second dinner.
- Take a nap. And then take another nap.
- Watch Clueless on Demand. And then leave quotes from the movie on your friend’s Facebook pages.
- Settle to write rather lame Top-Five Post. Yo, this blog project involves 365 days. They cant all be gems.
Do you like Billie Holiday?/I LOVE him.
In Uncategorized on June 27, 2010 at 5:03 am
top five: Lessons for single ladies at 5, 280 feet above sea level (Jennifer & Jessica’s Lessons on Colorado Love)
- “Hey, I know you’re not from around here, but up here in Estes Park, a girl could really suffer from Hypothermia, especially in June. On an hour horseback ride. Thankfully, I know how to cure Hypothermia: get naked with me
- Fact: When you get lost outside of Denver, pull into the local Lumber store, and ask for the guy who sells Solar Energy Panels. He’s bound to draw a map…to your heart.
- “Hey boys, despite my best friend’s butchy sports bra, she’s actually single, ready to mingle, and can ride a horse (need i say more? HOT)”
- Fact: If you talk incessantly to your horse wrangler, instead of enjoying the peaceful solitude of nature, you WILL get asked to Kountry Karaoke, tonight.
- Again, Denver-area “Capture the Flag” football games are a HOTSPOT for freshly legal 18 year olds. Who needs a prom date?
Jen mistakes a tree for a mountain man.
In Uncategorized on June 25, 2010 at 3:00 pm
top five: things to do in Denver when you’re (a) Red (head)….or Denver, Day II:
- Red Rocks Amphitheater– a gorgeous outdoor music venue, naturally formed by huge, red rocks. Jessica Jane and the Irreplaceables are surely set to open for Widespread Panic. Waiting for a callback.
- Hiking 3 1/2 miles to the top of a mountain in the Arapaho National Forrest, doing yoga poses on a rock, napping in the rain, and coming back down the mountain. Jessica completes a task! Also, I wasn’t too thwarted by coming in contact with a HUGE snake (which gets bigger everytime I tell the story). Boy, I’ve had my training with HUGE snakes. heh.heh.heh.
- Being invited to a late night game of “Capture the Flag”, with the cool Denver area high school boys: some of which, we were told, “may be eighteen years old!”.
- Actually considering number 3, (for a second).
- Sleeping outside Friday night! ON PURPOSE! 🙂
Colorado makes your Namaste look so easy.
In Uncategorized on June 24, 2010 at 3:43 pm
Top five: Epiphanies discovered on our first day in Denver
- The air is much, much, clearer up here.
- Starbucks are hard to find, but a polite local is not!
- Hot Springs really do have healing properties, and the sulfur can feel like sugarcane.
- There is NOTHING funny about nightly condo rentals called “Beaver Village”. Nothing.
- You can take your suit off in a 105 degree sulfur and magnesium pool with your hot, Jewish best friend and it really can be completely platonic. Well, almost completely.
City Beaver/Country Beaver
In Uncategorized on June 23, 2010 at 10:13 pm
top five: grossest ways to meet your maker
- Falling off the Empire States Building and getting your eyelid caught on the spike of the collar of a Pug.
- Being eaten alive by cockroaches, that have been dyed rainbow colors in honor of June, Pride month.
- Any method, by any given Heather, from the 1988 film Heathers (corn nuts, optional)
- An achy, break-y heart.
- Being set afire by Zooey Deschanel’s laser doe eyes.
And if you tell my heart...he might blow up and kill this man.
In Uncategorized on June 22, 2010 at 10:49 pm
top five: hangover foods (or foods to eat when you wake up next to “that” guy, and got a scorching case of the spins…but hopefully not a scorching case of something else)
- Micheladas (a fabulous beer drink, similar to a bloody mary), with salt
- Barbacoa and Big Red (I don’t eat meat, but it sounds healing), with salt
- Potbelly’s Veggie sandwich, with everything on it, with salt
- Coca-Cola, from the fountain, at 7-11, with salt
- Quesadillas, topped with cheese, with a side of cheese, with salt
That's right, you're not from Texas. Texas doesn't want you, anyway.
In Uncategorized on June 20, 2010 at 5:20 am
top five reasons to start a 365 top five blog:
- blogging is like, so 2004, and like any trend, I like to wait till it’s, like, over, before I start. like, omg, fer-sure!
- the content of your top five lists separate the men from the Republicans when you are on a first date.
- five-a-day seems non-committal enough to commit to.
- i need another reason to not work, while at work.
- if it worked for the food pyramid, it shall work me.